For those of you who haven’t had enough retro toy-box revival action, look out for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, directed by Stephen Sommers (The Mummy), which should already be blowing big holes in the nations Dolby sound systems as you read this. You may remember this all American action hero from playing with your sister in the front room. You know the drill: she had Barbie and you had G.I. Joe and together you’d stage elaborate versions of Bonnie and Clyde – umm, was that just me then? G.I. Joe actually refers to a crack military team tasked with taking down a powerful arms dealer named Destro (Christopher Eccleston) and a shady new organisation codenamed Cobra. Is it a complex allegory of modern geopolitical events? Hell no! It’s a bunch of guys (and gals) with biceps on their triceps beating the crap out of the bad guys – and we wouldn’t have it any other way. The acting also promises to be somewhat less plastic than you remember as a kid.

Another film already showing that you’ll want to catch is Land of the Lost, which sees Anna Friel appearing opposite Will Ferrel, the thinking man’s Adam Sandler, who was the talent behind Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy, one of the funniest films since Groundhog Day. It follows a professor, his beautiful assistant and a redneck survivalist as they are thrown back in time to the time of the dinosaurs. A slightly more high brow affair (although thankfully, not much) will be Tarantino’s latest effort Inglourious Basterds (out 21st Aug), which follows an American/Jewish crack team of resistance fighters working in occupied France and competing to kill as many Nazi’s as possible. When they discover Hitler will be attending a film premier, the opportunity to take the snotty little blighter down a peg or two is irresistible. Tarantino’s take on the WWII film is sure to be an exhilarating experience, and will almost certainly piss on the genre from a great height.

 
Next up is The Final Destination (out 28th Aug), latest in the long running series of slap-stick horror thrillers, which this time around comes to you in 3D! You know the routine by now: an ordinary person at a public event (this time a race track) has a premonition of a catastrophic accident and manages to cajole a bunch of people into leaving with her, only to prompt death to hunt them down for cheating their fate. Bringing new meaning to the term ‘living on borrowed time’ the series has dabbled in certain philosophical questions such as fate, but largely has thrilled audiences with a series of increasingly complex, grotesque and hilarious set pieces. If you liked the other films in the series then you’ll almost certainly want to see this, and the promise of 3D is likely to attract a few more thrill seekers, everyone else may just be saying ‘are we there yet?’

You can catch all these films and more at you local Odeon (check out our listings online), including Odeon Colchester who have some merchandise to give away for Land of the Lost and Inglourious Basterds. Just tell us which nut job directed the latter film?

Words > Dean Bowman